DCM and I sat down to watch one of our fa fa fa favorite movies, The Expendables 2.
I thought I had blogged about this movie when we saw it and I apologize if I didn’t (need to do a better search to make sure I didn’t) and if I didn’t, you know I will be more than happy to blog about it!
One of the things we loved was the star power, all these great action heroes from the 80s, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Norris, Lundgren, Li (as in Jet), Van Damme and…hold your breath ladies, Jason Statham!
The other thing we loved were all the bad one liners and references to 80s movies, the stars were making fun off themselves, it was awesome. So tonight, I am going to list as many cheesy bits and when they happen, enjoy. (And if you haven’t seen the movie, sorry for the spoiler alerts, but where you been?)
The movie opens with rescue misson, the truck had a battering ram that said ‘knock knock!’
7 minutes: Terry Crewes to Schwarzenegger, regarding his very large gun, his baby “If I don’t get my baby back, you’ll be terminated.”
21 minutes: Bruce Willis to Stallone’ “All this male pattern badness” what?
41 minutes: Stallone “Track ’em, Find ’em, Kill ’em”
57 minutes: Chuck Norris comes walking around the side of a building to Wild West music, possibly Fist Full of Dollars theme.
59 minutes: the classic Chuck Norris joke, which Chuck Norris tells! Stallone: “I heard a rumor that you got bitten by a king cobra”, Norris: “Yeah, and after five days of excruciating pain, the snake died” (I think DCM may wet himself he’s laughing so hard right now!)
1:01 They are driving into a village and getting shot at and Statham says: “The safest place to be is in front of their guns!”
1:04 Let me set the scene…the bad guys walk into a church, there is a priest wearing a robe with a hood speaking Latin, the next thing you know…da da da..as Jason Statham lifts his head and is revealed, he said “With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife” and then proceeds to kick the crap out of at least 5 guys. (C’mon girls, big collective sigh, ahhh)
1:07 Again, let me set the scene. The ENTIRE rescue crew except for Maggie and Jason Statham open fire on the last bad dude and when he’s down, Stallone says “Rest in pieces”
1:08 when the team gets to the mine and they formulate a plan and they are about to put it into action, you get the requisite action movie slow-mo walk, creates more drama that way, you know. (My favorite use of this technique, Shrek, after saving the princess, he, Fiona and Donkey are running through the castle..but in slow motion…)
1:13 Rescue mission has the team trapped with the captive miners, there is a rumbling, the wall comes crashing in, Schwarzenegger gets out with a stogie in his mouth “I’m back” (rescue ensues)
1:17 They are now in an airport, where the the big gun battle is happening (and a crap ton of one liners are coming up) and the guy about to shoot Stallone is killed they look up and there is Chuck Norris with his theme music (which, if you’ve ever seen I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, you learn that every action hero has his own theme music)
1:18 Schwarzenegger, to Willis, “I’m out, I’ll be bach” Willis to Schwarzenegger, “You’ve been back enough, I’ll be back!”
1:18 Schwarzenegger shaking his head “Yippie ki yeah”
1:18 Norris steps up next to Schwarzenegger and is shooting everyone, stealing Schwarzenegger’s thunder, turns to Norris, “Who is next, Rambo?”
1:19 Willis spins a little baby “carlet”, also known as a Smart Car, Schwarzenegger yanks the door off the car, gets in “My shoe is bigger dan this cah” (you are reading all these Schwarzenegger lines in his voice, aren’t you?)
1:20 Norris knocks a bad dude into the security carry on carry on scanner and it starts to move and as he proceeds to shoot this person full of holes, we are privy to see the X-ray as he is going through the scanner.
1:31 After all the fights, everyone is saying goodbye and Willis tells Stallone he got him and ‘The Little Rascals’ a ride home, it’s a prop plane, very old. Stallone says, ” That belongs in a museum”. Schwarzenegger replies “Ve all do”
1:32 Very last scene (BIG SHAME on me for not making the connection this time!) Jason Statham turns to Stallone (Rocky Balboa, duh!) on the plane, who’s face looks like someone took a meat tenderizer to it and says “From one friend to another” “yeah?” “You really need to learn to fight”
There you have it friends! One liners to put a smile on your face. Now go watch this movie! (If you haven’t and if you have, watch it again!)