This morning I was high as a kite, legally.

Today I had an endoscopy, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endoscopy, this is a procedure where they put you under and then use a camera, inserted through the mouth, to see inside a hollow organ, in my case, my stomach.

A little back story, which could be TMI [To Much Information, for those of you ‘not in the know’], but I’m going to tell you. Years ago, try about 20, I was diagnosed with severe gastritis, I was nauseous all the time, among other things and I went to see a GI, gastroenterologist, for the first time and my first of two endoscopies.

It was determined that I had taken so much Advil for my migraines that I had eaten a hole in the lining of my stomach, not sharing those pictures, thank you. Well, as a result of this, I was put on Tagamet, before it was an over-the-counter medication and put on a strict diet, well, not a diet per se, but a list of no-nos.

Ready? Fried food, spicy food, caffeine, chocolate [has caffeine], colored soda, citric acid, potato skins and apple skins. Jealous? So, I gave up most of those things and only ate them here and there, but would pay for it if I did, so it had better be worth it!

I got a lot better, wasn’t nauseous all the time and most of the reflux went away, wahoo. Then a few years ago, I guess I didn’t even realize it at the time, I began getting nauseous a lot. I realized recently that it’s been at least three years that I am nauseous 24/7. I appreciate the sympathy, but it’s not a huge deal, it’s something I have learned to live and deal with.

Well, a few months ago, I realized I was tired of dealing with it, so I decided to do something about it. I truly gave up all the things I was not supposed to eat, I do cheat on occasion, like an onion ring here and there, but it’s not more than once or twice a month. I also gave up all dairy last August, hoping these things would stop. Nope, still nauseous.

I finally went to a GI and she prescribed a few tests, I’ll tell you about those another time, no results. I promise, I am getting to the part where it’s funny! Since the first two tests showed nothing to indicate why I’m nauseous, the next step was an endoscopy and that is what brings us here today.

This morning I got up and worked out with MS and our trainer, CG. It was a little tough because I couldn’t drink any water while I worked out, but it was alright. No water 4 hours prior to the test and no solid food 6 hours prior, so about 10pm last night was the last I ate or drank. I was very careful when brushing my teeth this morning.

PSM picked me up for my appointment because you have to have a responsible adult take you and bring you home, as he said, uh oh! Funny. I went in, sat down and they took me early, I didn’t even get a chance to kiss him goodbye, I thought I was just being called for a urine sample, I called him right after and apologized, I didn’t like that!

I changed into a lovely backless gown and about 15 minutes later, away we went. I met Pete, not sure what he does, but he was in the room with me, Dr. SB was the anesthesiologist, and Dr. P was performing the test. The RN had put in the needle for the IV into the back of my right hand, didn’t feel great, not much fat there, go figure! Then Dr. SB started the Fentanyl, I think that’s what it was and after the burning in my hand, which she promptly flushed, about 30 seconds later I was high as a kite!

I know this sensation because I have been there for procedures and some prescription medications get me this way and yes, I am admitting, I have smoked weed in the past. It has been a long time and I will tell you why. The first thing that happens is I feel a very warm sensation at the base of my skull and it radiates up and then down my neck. Then I get the giggles, I mean hard core giggles that I cannot see straight. They asked me to spell my name, I got that right at least, they asked my birthday, sure, whatever you say!

The next thing that happens is my head gets really heavy. They asked me to move higher on the bed, that took some doing and three tries later, I was where they wanted me. I was laughing so hard I was snorting, occasionally having trouble catching my breath. They went to put oxygen up my nose, I tried to put it in my mouth, that was so funny, here we go again!

Here’s where it’s pointless for my to smoke weed. About three minutes after it all started, I was unconscious, which is exactly what happened to me in the past when I smoke weed. Two, maybe three hits max, if that and I am useless.

They woke me up about 40 minutes after I went under, let me tell you, I wish they had let me sleep longer, it was the best sleep I’ve had in a very long time! They gave me some apple juice and water, I didn’t have to choose, then some apple sauce, they want you to have soft foods because they’ve just had a camera and the cable down your throat.

I laid in recovery for a while, dozing off, then I realized I had to pee, so they helped me stand and I staggered and laughed my way to the bathroom, I was very popular, let me tell you. Then it was get dressed and wait for PSM to pick me up and I laughed all the way to the truck, I think I gave everyone in the waiting room a chuckle. At the hotel, I staggered while PSM tried to keep me upright, got changed into my jammies, he helped me into bed, I ate some breakfast, I was hungry! Then about an hour or two later, it was lights out! I fell out hard! I was sleeping off the anesthesia, that is good stuff!

My favorite thing was reading the discharge instructions…”Do not operate heavy machinery. Do not sign any legal documents. Do not make any major decisions.” This frightens me that they have to write that, but I took the advice to heart and the biggest decision I made was what to watch on tv, I did alright, there was a Law and Order Marathon on, on two stations, score!

My throat is still sore, so I’ve been eating pretty soft foods, should be fine tomorrow when I go to work and I think the grogginess has worn off, but I am not going out and running any marathons tonight. After I close this, it’s back to Netflix.

By the way…I have to wait for the biopsy results, they always do biopsies to make sure they don’t miss anything, but from what they saw today, everything was fine. Great on the fine, not so great that I’m still nauseous, but that’s three tests down, what’s next?

Not actually a picture of me, but I’m just as cute, especially in the throws of a giggle fit!